Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

Blood Dawn


I had completely forgotten the Chelsea Wolfe/Converge collab album Bloodmoon: I dropped a few weeks back. Thankfully, Heaven is an Incubator just released his Top Twenty-Five records of 2021 and this was on it, reminding me to strap on the ear goggles and disappear into a place both wonderful and strange.




Watch:

After five episodes, I can absolutely assure you that Showtime's new series Yellowjackets is on the shortlist for my favorite shows of the year. It's not going to beat out Brand New Cherry Flavor, but I almost feel like I should remove that one from the running - it's unbeatable.

 

Yellowjackets seems to be on track to come pretty close, though. This show has me chomping at the bit for each successive episode, which drop weekly on Sundays.




Playlist:

Van Halen - 1984
White Lung - Paradise
White Zombie - Astro-Creep 2000
Deftones - Ohms 
Calexico - Seasonal Shift
Godflesh - Streetcleaner
Blut Aus Nord - Codex Obscura Nomina
Godflesh - A World Lit Only By Fire
Blut Aus Nord - The Mystical Beast of Rebellion
Blut Aus Nord - The Work Which Transforms God
Møl - Diorama




Card:


The Airy aspect of Earth - note the bull and its rider, often interpreted as an 'energetic young man.' I have to wonder if there's a message there, or if the cards are mocking me this morning. I'm still struggling with a total lack of energy and the subsequent feelings that, at nearly 46, I'm just getting tired and old. Part of me reads that and immediately says, "Fuck you," to the part of myself that thinks that, and part of me wonders. 

Recently, I've traced the start of this constant feeling of exhaustion to two things: 1) the loss of most of my staff at work, which means all my managerial duties take a backseat to near-constant physical work. None of this is super demanding work, but it's continuous over the course of several sustained hours. Add this to my penchant for only sleeping a little over five hours a night (most nights, with after-work naps increasing in frequency), and there's a definite factor. However, 2) I also can't ignore that the start of this exhaustion appears to match up with my relatively newfound love of fasting. I do 13-16 hour fasts almost every day, and while this almost completely alleviates the stomach issues I've had for most of my life, I also can't help but wonder if it's a contributing factor. 

The good news is we're on a hiring kick at work, so hopefully, this will soon put me back in a place where I don't burn all my energy for the day by noon. I'm not the kind of manager who likes sitting at a desk for my entire day, but eight or nine hours of near-continuous physical strain sure as hell isn't doing me any good.

We'll see. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

2018: December 6th

I'm doing Thursday's post on Wednesday night because I'm up and off to LAX early in the morning to fly to Chicago! Yay!

A couple months ago I posted about Perturbator's side project, L'Enfant De La Fôret. Well, that record fell right the heck off my radar, and it wasn't until I saw Heaven Is An Incubator post this GORGEOUS track that I remembered how much I'd been looking forward to it. And Tommy hit the nail right on the head - this track reeks of Lynch/Badalamenti, which, of course, immediately endears it to me. I can't wait to ingest this entire record during my trip. Name your price and buy it HERE.



Playlist from 12/05:

The Veils - Total Depravity
Grimes - Art Angels
Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Hallelujah! Don't Bend! Ascend!
The Body - I Have Fought Against It, But I Can't Any Longer.
Gil Scott Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (Single)
Scroobious Pip vs. Dan Le Sac - Thou Shalt Always Kill (Single)
Algiers - Eponymous
Jóhann Jóhannsson - Mandy OST
David Lynch & Alan Splatt - Eraserhead OST

Card of the day:




"Insatiable hunger for life and endless, powerful energies." Well, that definitely is the standard definition for how I roll in Chicago. It'll be interesting to see if this year is any different? Well, I've hit a point where I just don't have the energy I previously had. I knock out during movies at home ALL the time now on weekends. I feel a general, low-grade exhaustion on a daily basis. Part of it is I'm 42, and part of it is my first alarm rings at 4:07 AM, five days a week. Normally, I hit Chicago and hook up with my lifelong friends and I can hang out all night, drinking beer and talking music, movies, comics, whatever. Will that be the case with this trip? Well, the card seems to imply it will, so we'll see.