2018: December 25th

Merry Christmas, world!

I had long banished any semblance of Christmas spirit from my life as a sort of revolt against Christianity and the 'normal' upbringing that, while having molded me for what I believe was the better, I had cast off in my twenties in a series of mental and intellectual, psychonautic journeys. You know, the usual 20s stuff: Drugs, the Occult, alternative political science. By my thirties I was more formed as a person, and having moved to LaLaLand, used the distance from family to eliminate Christmas altogether. The holiday only ever meant family to me after I jettisoned everything else about it, and with family thousands of miles away, I was free to hold some strange grudge against it, the same way I used to hold a grudge against Christianity in general. Which, let's face it, was stupid. Because you know, live and let live. Also, it's very common in the fascist Left of California to preach anti-hate against on the behalf of minorities, or left-of-center groups, while actively hating on the established majorities, which is just fucking retarded. Crowley said it best, "Every man and woman is a star," or "Do what Thou Wilt Shall be the Whole of the Law," the basic tenets of his self-made religion Thelema. In other words, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, believe what you need to in order to be happy and a good person (by the basic nature of this, group hate such as nazi-ism is expunged).

Anyway, K and her Mom really helped reactivate my Christmas spirit last year; I'm about as far from a Christian as you're going to find, but all the pretty dressings they've hung on the winter solstice please me, and in no way threaten my own world view.

I can share.



Still obsessed with Synchronicity. I find that lately, I have to listen to it every day. I just have to.

Playlist from 12/24:

Talking Heads - Sand in the Vaseline disc 2
Talking Heads - Remain in Light
Talking Heads - Fear of Music
The Police - Synchronicity
The Police - Regatta de Blanc
Vaguess - The Bodhi Collection

Card of the day:

Lack of stability based on thwarted attempts to write that have become negative inertia. Jesus, I really need to get my shit on track. Tomorrow.

2018: November 5th

It's been quite some time since I went on an honest-to-goodness Tom Waits kick. Probably the last time was about four years ago when Mr. Brown lent me the 33 1/3 book David Smay penned on Swordfish Trombones. Anyway, I feel a full-on Waits jag coming on, so here's first salvo.

Over the weekend K and I watched the newest Jane Mansfield documentary, Mansfield 66/67. Fantastic! Along with the legendary actress, the film also serves as an exploratory dispatch into Anton Lavey and the Church of Satan, so it's fascinating. I've always bristled at Satanism, which of course has nothing to do with the devil and everything to do with worshipping yourself, which I feel leads to rampant Narcissism. That said, I've also always had a soft spot for Lavey as a public figure. The hilarity that the man instills to those that 'get it' is epic. This is especially apparent in the documentary, as the film spends a lot of time talking about and interviewing people from Mansfield's life about the supposed 'curse' Lavey is said to have put on Jane and her husband at the time (both of whom died in that nasty, Chihuahua-killing cash), all the while showing him dressed in his devil suit, little more than stylized PJs. Lavey was laughing at everyone that took the 'evil' aspect of his publicity push seriously, because he's telling you up front it's a joke by dressing like that.

Not a lot of folks got it though.

Playlist from yesterday:

The Veils - Total Depravity

The Ocean - Phanerozoic I: Palaeozoic

Deafheaven - New Bermuda

Deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love

Roni Size - New Forms (disc #1)

Darkness Brings the Cold - Devil Swank, Vol. 1

Card of the day:

Threes are solid numbers, and it takes a foundation to acquire abundance. This is the path I've set myself on; there are SO many distractions vying for our money, my job for the next year is to minimize what I allow myself to purchase because I'm starting to think about the need for a foundation in the physical plane, ie a domicile.